Saturday, March 9, 2013

Chapter 5 - taking the leap of faith

Just as Moi had begun to actually move on in life and start doing things on her own, Pras, at Delhi at the time, sent a message which read "If you put on weight and weigh 42kgs, I will marry you." A series of mails later, terms and conditions for the marriage and the life after mutually agreed upon, Moi decided to bid farewell to the comfort and friends of Chennai.

After a year in Bangalore, we got married. It took him sometime to convince his mom. The marriage ceremony was over in a blink of the eye. And, here's a secret, Moi weighed 39kgs on the wedding day. It is gonna be 4 years of blissful married life next month with a fair share of ups and downs.

AND, I am going to stop referring to me as Moi now. Whew!!! It is so much easier to write like you are talking it out to a friend.

Has marriage changed me? Yes, in some ways. It has made me a stronger human being, more practical, less emotional. I attribute all these changes to the person I've married. He is everything that I am not. Yup, ours is a case of opposites attract. If you fall into the same category, my two cents worth of advice is to not let him rub off on you.

While I type this post, the below is an excerpt of our conversation. This is usually when we fight over the remote. (He and his news channels.. bah!!)

I ask, "Is it important to know what happened in some one else's life? How does it affect me and my life? Would my life be different if I cared?"
He replies, "There is more to life than TLC and your blog."

Well, this is not the first time. And yes, I've begun to care and I try to read the newspaper and catch up on the recent goings on when I can. For me the newspaper until now meant playing sudoku on the last page. The Internet is a Pandora's box, except that you need to be visiting the right websites.

Marriage can be good and bad. You can feel extremely secure with the person around and you can at a different instant of time feel stifled and suffocated by the same person. It's all about giving each other the space one requires. He is around *all* the time. When I leave for work, he is around. When I get home, he is around. Well, he works from home. So I used to work from home, when he would go to work. There were times when I'd force him out of the house so that I could get some ME time.

We've been on multiple trips over these years and this year, it is going to be the biggest. More on this in the next chapter - hopefully there is one. Lakshadweep, Alleppey, Chennai, Coorg, Kabini, Manali, Himalayan Trek, Bhutan, Goa and multiple trips to Ooty and Palakad. Travelling has been one more form of education for me. An eye-opener.

And as far as the terms and conditions go, they are on a continuous review with additions and deletions and as it is with all rules, rules are meant to be broken. My two cents of advice to all you newly weds out there

  1. Be adjusting and accommodating of the other person.
  2. When your better half is angry and yelling on the top of his/her voice, you stay calm and quiet. You can always clarify when he/she has cooled down later.
  3. 'Tis true, the way into a man's heart is through his stomach. So cook well. I guess that in today's world it would apply the other way too.
  4. Never ever say anything wrong about your better half's family. Well, there are ways. Call me if you need more tips on this.
  5. Don't assume - talk everything out. No, don't argue, TALK!
So, here's the end of the life that has been. 31 years covered in 5 chapters. My friend complains that I've left off the juicy bits. Hopefully, this one makes up for that.